if I DIE..

No one else knows about this, except those who read my blog. So, for those who accidently read this post, u have the responsible to tell this to my family, about what I want, if I die...

If I Die..

1. I want someone to inform my fiance, no matter where he is.

2. I want ALL my friends, yes ALL, to be informed about my death. spread the news, in FB and so on.

3. I dont want my mum and family to cry in front of my body.

4. I want my fiance to be there at my funeral, and I want him to bury me.

5. And when i die, i want my fiance to whisper in my ear, how much he loves me. regardless whether i can hear it or not.

6. If i die, i want someone to give this blog to my fiance, so that he can read this blog, and he can eventually understand how i really love him all this while.

7. I want someone to give my diary to my fiance, that i keep in my house in Rawang.

8. And when I die, i want someone to help me to tell my mum, dad and fiance, how muchhhhhh i love them.

9. please tell my friends, that i always care about them, even tho i know they dun really give a shit about me. but i ALWAYS, ALWAYS, care about them.

10. Also, please tell my housemates, A&A that i never regret any stupid things dat we did together.

11. and also, please tell my fiance, that he is the best thing dat ever happened tome. and i love him so..

12. and when i die, i wnt my fiance to always visit my mother, because i know, that she loves him too.

13. and when i die, i want everyone to pray n be happy for me.

Death is God's promise to everyone in this earth. im just waiting for my time.

miles away.

He is in Paris, and I am in Malaysia. It's thousands km away.

Im writing this blog, while looking at him sleeping, by webcam.

I dont know why, but for some reasons, i feel touched. Watching him sleeping,

touches my heart. I feel sad. I feel like there's a big damn hole in my life, in my heart.

I feel negligence. I feel wasted. I dont know. What I know is, that I miss him. I miss my fiance. And I want him to hug me, instead of hugging that pillow. fiance, i miss you. u could never imagine how much i really miss you. let me just keep it to my heart. let me just handle the burden by my own,

cause what i can be sure of, u wont understand and u will never understand how i feel. how badly i miss you, how badly i love you, and how badly i want to be around you.

Trust me syg, there's no other person in this world, i would rather be than be with you.

I know, there's no way and no chance dat u can read this stupid blog of mine. but still i just want to say sumthing to you.

take a gud care of yourself while you are in Paris. Dont have to worry about me. Because i Know who i want to grow old with. and no matter how badly my heart tempted to cheat on you, but my love for you forbid me to do such thing. because i know, it's you wanna spend my whole life with.

I DONT MIND, if u dont feel the same way as i did, because these feelings dat i have for you are real n sincere.

i have so many chances, opportunities to cheat on you, in order to make myself happy, but i chose not to.

i love you fiance..

and have faith in me when i say this,

there will never be another love, another time.