lets talk about one thing called, Boyfriend.

When we talk about bf, i wonder do i really need one?
If I answered, i need a bf in my life, my mind questioned me,

why?
why do you really need one?
do u really need a man to be happy?
cant u just be happy without a man?
will he makes you happy for the rest of ur life?

Aiyo, i dun have the answer with me. sometimes im thinking, why im still with my bf?
he doesnt make me happy, not anymore.
he does not concern about me. he treated me like im a full of shit.
he doesnt care bout my feelings.
but why?
why am i still with him?
owh how i wish i have the answer to dat question.

The only reason dat i have, Im jst scared to be alone. Im scared if i lose him, i'll be alone for the rest of my life. im scared that he's just the only guy dat wants me.
the question still remain, why do i need a guy in my life?
can i jst be happy when im alone?
with no one there to fucking hurt my feelings.
this question, is very subjective.
i dun want to complicate my "already-complicated-relationship".
dats why im still here, waiting for him, though he treats me like Im nothing.
Out peeps!

avoiding

i've been avoiding calls from my family for 2days now.
my mum call me like, 100 times today but still i refused to answer the call.
i dun noe. im not showing my egoistic to my own mother.
maybe i just need some time of my own. time to think.
time to relax my mind, time to... i dun noe. just time for my own.
yesterday, i wish dat i have my bf to listen to me. butt... butttttt!
i dun noe. he's jst not the rite person. he cant comfort me, he cant make me happy. he makes me feel even worse. owh how i hate the man that i love. hum.
im in a very bad state of mood. nak buat assgnment malas buat tu malas buat ni malas sume malas.
duit takde itu takde ini takde. argh~! i want meth! give me meth!