hurt

i took my 2years-untouched-diary with a pen on my hand.
i feel like writing. and when i feel like writing, i noe that is when im hurting.
and of course, im hurting rite now. and that is why i am moving my fingers to tab here and there to share my sadness with the world.
Well, my engagement day supposedly will due in 16days from today.
i dont know. i dont know why it is so hard for me to be happy. i just want a pretty simple life, with happiness as my asset. he keeps on changing his mind. one minute, he'll say, the engagement is on, and the other minute, he'll say 'lets call it off'.
what am i here?


Dear,
even if you don't care about my feelings, about what i feel, at least pls consider about my family. about my mother who loves you like her own flesh n blood.
u hurt me enough. thats ok with me.
but pls,
dont hurt my family.
they're all i got.
I love you. and if you dont feel the same way, pls stop toying with my feelings.
its only 16 fucking days left.






Tuhan,kalau DIA membawa kebaikan pada diriku, agamaku, keluargaku dan masa depanku,
Ya Allah kau pertemukanlah jodohku dengannya. Tapi kalau sebaliknya, maka kau jauhkanlah dia dariku
dan bukakan pintu hatiku untuk redha menerimanya. Amin.