I am a PARANOIA.

I am a paranoia.

I am paranoid.

I've realised this since last year.

For those, who have no idea what paranoid@paranoia is:


The person with a Paranoid Personality Disorder essentially has an ongoing, unbased suspiciousness and distrust of people. Along with this, they are emotionally detached. In order to have this diagnosis, the person would have to have seen others as having malevolent intentions, by early adulthood in different situations, as indicated by a number of different factors. These factors include: suspicion that others are exploiting, or deceiving them, that others may not be loyal or trustworthy, believes there are threats or attacks on their character in innocent statements that others do not see, and bears persistent grudges. Additionally, this is not a diagnosis which would be used if the person also has Paranoid Schizophrenia, a separate diagnosis, for example, among other diagnosis which would exclude it.



What makes me said that? Hurm. Everytime people update their status on facebook, if the status is cynical, or sound like yelling, or cursing sumone, i will have this in my mind, "is she/he talking about me"?

or, if sumone write a blog about sumthing, or about SOMEONE, i will have the same thought in my mind.

"die buat blog ni untok aku ke?"

"yela, mmg macam untuk aku je?"

then, i start to think negatively.

"kenape die marah kat aku? :( "

"kenape die tibe2 nak benci kat aku?"

and i will cont wondering for the nxt two or three weeks.

even tho, im not quite sure that the blog or the status is really for me.

isnt dat pathetic? i know. but dat jst me.

and its getting worse these days.

if someone does not reply my sms, i would have probably think like this,

"Okay, she/he hates me! Fine then!"

Why. Why.

I want this think to stop. I have to stop being too negative.

But I cant stop.

And trust me, its getting worse.