ntahlaa

Aku, saye, me, myself, I..
Bile cakap pasal ‘aku’, semua orang tau, yang aku bukan perempuan yang baik.. dan maybe sbb tu jugakla, Tuhan bagi macam2 balasan kat aku kat dunia ni.. Aku dapat saket tu. Saket ni. Kadang2, aku tanye diri sendri, kenape aku? Kenape bukan orang lain? Kenape mesti aku?. Kenape aku yg dapat benda ni? Kenape bukan dia? Sedang kan dia lagi blablablabla. Dan time ni jugaklah, aku mula menunding jari, meng compare kan kejahatan diri dgn kejahatan orang lain. Cuba utk menegakkan diri yang sememangnye dah kecundang dgn kemelut dunia. Ayat ape yg aku guna ni? Aku sendri tak sure..
When people are talking about love life, I don’t know what to say. I don’t know where to begin and I don’t know where to comment. Been in a serious relationship for almost 5years, but still I don’t how to elaborate my love life. Am I happy? I don’t know. Am I wanted to be with him for the rest of my life? Sometimes, the answer is yes, and most of the time, the answer is no. So I don’t know. And now I start to talk about my love life. Dun bother to read if u dun want too. I wont force u anyway. He often work off the shore. So as a gf, of course la aku terasa TERAMATLAH sunyi bila die takde. Bukannye sekejap, sebulan, dua bulan. And the sad part is, aku lgsg takde pengganti utk mengisi masa lapang aku. Die jelah satu2 nya orang yang ade dalam hati aku ni. Bile die offshore, aku jadi ayam berak kapur. Mcm pungguk yg rindu kat bulan. Tapi at least punggok tu untung lagi, sbb dapat tgk bulan hari2, wpun jauh tapi still bole Nampak. Aku? Nak dgr suara time die offshore pon. Subhan Allah, payahnye. Tuhan dgn rasul je tau mcmane aku rase rindu. Tapi die tak tau semua tu. N bile die balek sini, of course, OF COURSE I want him to spend some of his quality time with me. Tapi.. ntahla.. things changed. He changed. Things wont always be like we want it to be.. aku tggu die dgn penuh setia, dgn harapan, bila die balek nnt, aku bole jmp lepaskan rindu. Tu je aku mntak.
Entahla.. setiap kali die balek kampong, die mesti jadi dingin dgn aku. I dun understand why.. ntahlaa. Only if you how painful it is for me to wait for you. How lonely I am.. n how the sense of missing you is killing me.. u never know.. u never know cause u dun wanna noe. U never know cause u never care.... I dunt want ur money. I dun really want it. I just want ur attention.. ur attention, ur love and ur tenderness. I can’t help myself from being fooled for loving u too much. Oh yes, I am such a fool. But this fool has been loving you undoubtedly since five years back.. and I miss every seconds that I spent with you.. I just want you, n everything else won’t matter anymore.. I really mean it, dear.

couldnt agree more

When one door closes another door opens; but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us