Im seeing myself as an ulcerous sore running with every horrible and disgusting poison.
Monday, August 2, 2010
1 month left to educate.
horrayyyy!!
*joget, joget!*
still got term paper to finish within this one month. phew! macamane? ntah. pasrah je la labu.
aku baru balek dari melaka. 2days off in malacca with Him and his family. it was quite fun :) one of a gud way utk merapatkan silaturahim :)
and i think, his family is growing up on me. it starting. honestly, im quite happy about dat. i start to feel comfortable to be around them. its a gud start rite? :p
well. aku sebenanye nervous. im waiting for sumthing gud dis november or october. doa2kan eh?
been waiting for this to happen since 5years back.
hopefully, kali ni, benda ni, betul2 jadi dgn izin Allah. InsyaAllah :)
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Things I HATE about YOU
i hate it, when i say i miss you, and you're acting like nothing is happening.
i hate it when i give tons of msgs, but u didnt reply any of it.
Monday, July 19, 2010
isn't dat sweet?
Muhammad
syg, syg!! aby bagi yek lagu just like a star corrine bailey rae.! dgr la skrg kat youtube! hehehehe
7:39pmMe
u really mean it ke aby bg saje2 je nih?
u really mean it ke aby bg saje2 je nih?
7:39pmMuhammad
i do i do!!
7:39pmMe
hehehe
acehh sayang..
7:40pmMuhammad
same2
suke tak?
7:40pmMe
suke:)
7:40pmMuhammad
iye tau tak husband die mati
7:40pmMe
hsband corin ni?
7:40pmMuhammad
pastu lgu nie tribute utk laki die
haah
mati drud OD
*drug
7:41pmMe
owh..yeke..sedey jep
7:41pmMuhammad
check laa
kesian gile
nnti kalau aby mati iye dengar lagu nie tau
janji
7:41pmMe
so..from tonite u noe dat i am the one keee nii? hehehe
nanak!
nanak!
aby ane leh tati dulu..
kite kene ade cucu cicit dulu..
aye nak ade anak atleast 4, camne?
7:41pmMuhammad
haah...from 5year ago
7:41pmMe
ehe
7:42pmMuhammad
ok je
tp iye kene janji dgn aye nnti aye tati yek kene dgr lagu nie
7:42pmMe
aby penat ah kene tggu yek branak byk kali.
7:42pmMuhammad
kalau yek lonely yek dgr lagu nie
tau?
janji
janji la syg
7:43pmMe
tanakla tati..aby ni.. :(
7:43pmMuhammad
janji je la
please
7:43pmMe
promise..
7:43pmMuhammad
yek?
janji
7:43pmMe
ye
janji...
7:43pmMuhammad
ok
7:43pmMe
nnt kalao aby gi offshore pon yek dgr lagu ni.
7:43pmMuhammad
aye nak lalek da nie
justin lambat lagi
ok
7:44pmMe
okay..
7:44pmMuhammad
luv u 4 ever
aby nk gi dah
bye
7:44pmMe
luv u too
Just like an angel off the page,
You have appeared to my life,
Feel like I'll never be the same,
Just like a song in my heart,
Just like oil on my hands,
Oh.. I do love you,
Still i wonder why it is,
I don't argue like this,
With anyone but you,
We do it all the time,
Blowing out my mind,
You've got this look i can't describe,
You make me feel like I'm alive,
When everything else is a fade,
Without a doubt you're on my side,
Heaven has been away too long,
Can't find the words to write this song,
Oh.,..
Your love,
Still i wonder why it is,
I don't argue like this,
With anyone but you,
We do it all the time,
Blowing out my mind,
I have come to understand,
The way it is,
It's not a secret anymore,
'cause we've been through that before,
From tonight I know that you're the only one,
I've been confused and in the dark,
Now I understand,
I wonder why it is,
I don't argue like this,
With anyone but you,
I wonder why it is,
I wont let my guard down,
For anyone but you
We do it all the time,
Blowing out my mind,
Just like a star across my sky,
Just like an angel off the page,
You have appeared to my life,
Feel like I'll never be the same,
Just like a song in my heart,
Just like oil on my hands
Isn't that sweet? ;)
FOR ALL YOU KNOW,
I LOVE YOU MOREEEEE THAN I'VE EVER LOVED ANYONE ELSE.
THERE'S NOTHING THAT I WANTED THE MOST OTHER THAN TO BE
WITH YOU.
I REALLY LOVE YOU.
N WILL ALWAYS DO.
NO MATTER HOW IT HURTS ME.
NO MATTER HOW IT BREAKS ME.
<3>
AND THANKS FOR THIS SONG.
YOU ARE MY SHINING STAR.
AND WILL ALWAYS BE.
Friday, July 16, 2010
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
you r my priority when im just your last option
Never make someone a priority when all you
are to them is an option.
I noe im just an option.
*sigh*
;(
Monday, July 12, 2010
ugliness in me.
sometimes. people just dont realize. the words they used to make fun of me, can bring me down for days.
days after, i stood up, shed my tears, and live my life, normally, again.
People.
Human.
Why you have to be darn cruel?
I dont want to be like dis. I dont want to be ugly, of course. I want to be pretty, like anyone else. Why cant i? Please guys. Stop blaming me. Stop punishing me. Stop cursing me. And stop discriminating me. Please, stop it. I dont want to be like dis. I dont want to be dis ugly.
Stop hurting me with your words, peeps.
I noe Im ugly. But PLEASE.
Stop bringing me down.
Cant you just let me live my own life with my ugliness?
why must u hurt me?
I noe i am ugly. I am aware that i am ugly.
But trust me, I dont to be ugly.
I really dont want too.
Sunday, July 11, 2010
zillioonsss to update!
let me start with me, spending 3nights and four days at renaissance hotel. it was, fun, boring, sad, happy, pissed, all mood combined together, and i dun noe how i really2 feel. tido sane since, rabu, hinggalah ke sabtu tengahri. sabtu, check out.saye happy, saye sedih, saye bosan, saye gembira, saya ketawa, saya menanges dan bermacam lagi. tak perlulah nak cerita part2 yang sedih, sebab dah malas dah nak cite benda sedeh ni. suke sgt tido hotel, sampaikan aku ponteng skola ari jumaat. hihihiih. cikgu jenis ape ni? heh? saye kesah ke? hehe.
move on! makan dinner kat bora ombak! tomyam sedap! nyum2. lapar perot.. adeh! hehehe. makanan murah, tempat cantek, so, okayla. not dat good and not dat bad. average. but i give an A for the view & decoration. aku dah pegi sini lame dulu. ingat saja la nak bawak 'ketat' makan sini. unfortunately, he doesnt really like dat place. nevermind then :)


pretty nice view aite? :)
okay now, lets move on toooooo....
ECLIPSE!
hahahah.
owh well, my deary, now. im no longer in edward's team! im in Jacob team babehhh! Jacob!
J for Jacob. He is so damn mother effin' hawt! cannot angkat leyy! haha. edward and bella? BORINGG! the storyline? Quite BORING~ as well. Jacob? Wow~! Stunning! Mouth watering! Slurpsss! Juicy dan Lazattt!
Saya mahu Jacob. Beri saya Jacob!!
penat la.. ape lagi aku nak cakap?
shiat! ada lagi!
whoott, whoo0tt! went to klCC, masuk kedai Fred Perry. tak penah2. saje je nak masuk. aku pon teros meluru ke arah kasut2 wanita. tgk dan tengok je la tnpa perasaan ingin memiliki yang melampau. tiba2 ada suara bertanya, "tanak ke kasut tu? ameklaa. amek yang hujung tu". hati aku teros bersinar, dan ade bunyik, chinggggggggggggg!!! macam pinggan yg baru lepas kene cuci ngan sabun axion! aku pon amekla sepasang kasut berwarna p utih. yg berhargaa AGAK MAHAL bagi aku utk sepasang kasut. tapi, takpela. Suara tu terlalu suka kasut tu. jadi nak tak nak, aku TERPAKSA amek :p
dan, inilah dia yang digembar gemburkan.
last but not least,
i ended my weekend, by watching eclipse for the 2nd time, but this time, platinum ticket. tp, aku tertidur halfway, sbb sangat comfy. zzzz, aku risau je org dengar aku berdengkur, hahaha. takot. malu!

dahla.. aku penat. nak tidoooo. ngntokkk.. penatt..stress jugak sbenanye at the same time. byeeeeeee!
Monday, July 5, 2010
yours.
I don't wanna be your friend,
I just wanna be your lover.
No matter how it start.
with <3
Saturday, July 3, 2010
Birthday Gift-SSR TYPE C
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
hati sentap, jiwa kacau.
research kene reject. haih!
ape ni?
nak buat lessonplan pon aku malas ni.
bagila aku ketenangan jiwa.
Monday, June 28, 2010
22 years ago
Now here I am. Look at me. Growing up as a mistake. Im a 22 year old mistake.
when my aunty told me about this story, i was just about 9-10 years old, i guess. mase tu aku tak rase ape2 pon. perasaan, nuetral.
tapi bila dah besar, benda ni kadang2 datang n cucuk2 hati aku. apesal? aku pon taktau. kenape? maybe sbb, makin besar, aku makin sedar yg im just a mistake. yang aku ni actually, unwanted child, versi halal.
pathetic rite?
haih.
If i can go back to 1988, i will tell my mother to abort me. dont think twice. just abort me. i wouldnt mine.
Mom, if you abort me 22years ago, I swear dat im not gonna blame you. look at me. You are making a big mistake in your life.
tears.
i dun what gets in to me, but Im just sad. he made me sad.
die kate, 'sorry, aye lupe arini bfday iye'
wtf man? aku baru je ingatkan kau, few hours before my day begun.
you spoiled my day. you just turn it to be the worse nightmare.
my bday, is the day where ppl making mistake. ppl referring to my parents.
they are making a mistake by having me.
Sunday, June 27, 2010
bufday
haih,
and as to you, the first You, the most important person in my life, thanks for not remembering my bday.
and to the second you. i need nothing from you. still i can srvive. just save ur money for ur coach bag.
thanks.
Friday, June 25, 2010
U.S.H.E.R!!
Date: 7 July 2010
Time: 8:30pm
Venue: National Stadium, Bukit Jalil
Ticket Price: RM488, RM288, RM188 ( Numbered Seat )
RM428, RM348 ( Rock Zone Free Standing )
RM98 ( Free Seating )
One ticket admits one person only. No child sharing seat or babies in arms.
All children aged 3 and above are required to purchase ticket for admission. No admission for child aged below 3.
Call Galaxy Hotline at 03-2282 2020 or Axcess Hotline at 03-7711 5000 for further details.
But.. Wednesday? Why? Whats up with wednesday?
kenape tak saturday? knapa wednesday? besoknye aku bekerjaaa! but i really2 i wanna go n watch his show. pleaseee?
Siapa aku nak ayat nak ajak pegi niiii? Naaakkkkkk :(
NAKKKK!!!!!!!!
I will try my very2 best to b thre! Adios!
Thursday, June 24, 2010
Bila Rindu
"bila rindu, terkenangmu sayang kurasa sayu, syahdunya jiwaku bila malam, makin kelam, jauh terbang diriku melayang.
aku rindu sentuhanmu kurasa sayu, inginkan jiwamu selubungi jiwa ini
bawaku dalam pelangi melepasi segala hati ini"
that iis what i feel now. i miss you. i miss you! I MISS YOU and i feel like crying everytime i miss you. come back please? Im yearning to hug you sooo damn tight! i love you. and yes, i miss u so badly now.
;(
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Entry ni aku dedicate khas untuk Siti Hadijah.
Dah berapa lama kita kenal? ;p kau pon slalu tanye aku soklan ni kan? hihi.
meh aku jawab, kite kenal, dah seumur idup. kite bekawan dah semenjak azali.
kite dah lalui macam2 benda sama2.
memakai vest ke 7 eleven.
slurpee campor.
mengukir nama di dinding rumah pontian.
5 minit (2x)
berjumpe dua jejaka di midvalley? *haha*
abang dada soft naik avanza? hahahaha
modesto jb?
lang di pavilion? :D
macam2 pengalaman kite dah share sama2. macam2 benda.
kita dah gadoh, baik, gadoh baik, salah paham, kecik ati, iri ati, macam2.
And now, kau tengah bersedih sebab si arwah. sikit sebanyak, aku terasa gak ape yg kau rase.
bila kau msg, kau ckp kau JK, aku harap aku ade dekat dengan kau, so dat i can be your clown n make you happy.
walaupun mase kau dgn arwah dulu kau lgsg tak pedulikan aku, but it doesnt matter. mmg la aku rase kecik ati mase tu, tapi aku cuba untuk faham, orang tengah bercinta.
ape motip aku tulis entry ni pon aku taktau. saje je nak tulis, sebab aku malas nak buat keje skola.
skarang ni, ape yang aku nak cakap kat kau.....
1. lupekan si arwah.
2. move on. aku tau kau boleh.
3. he's just not good enough for you.
4. you deserve someone better.
5. he dun deserve any of ur tears.
6. and there's no point crying over spilt milk. *senang nye berkata kata. haha*
7. im always there if u need me.
8. i can be ur clown whenever u want. *wpun aku seorg guru sbenanye*
9. and please stop the grieving moment.
Siti Hadijah Isa, percayalah, suatu hari nanti, sinar kebahgiaan akan menjelma. InsyaAllah. :)
telephone
I go to turn on TV
Sit on the couch feeling blue
Wait till the phone starts too ring
I start to think you forgot
Just as you always do
I don’t want to hear your excuse blah..blah.blah
‘Cause it all makes my day turn to gray
Feeling bored, it starts to haunt me again
I start to discover some clues
Wondering what you have done
Everything went really bad
I started feel very mad
Just as I always do
I don’t want to hear your excuse blah..blah..blah
‘Cause it all makes my day turn to gray
The time passes me by
As I listen to lullaby
When the phone start to ring
Menjadi jadi
haih, kenapa ni? kenape sangat rindu? rasa macam nak nyanyi lagu aisyah jer.
ketat, balekla cepat. buat ape dok laot tu lama2. bukannye ada ape2. saye rindu terok ni. tak tipu.
kenape tanak balek ni. tak ingat kat GF ke? Haish!
perasaan ni cube la pegi jauh2. shuhhh2! aku tak sker la ade perasaan macam ni. nanti nak buat semua keje tak boleh. :(
Aku bagi masa smpai jumaat. kalau jumaat ni kau tak balek, siap kauuuuuuuuuuuu!! aku gigit perot kau sampai kurus! baleklaaaa! nak suruh balek pon susah sangat. tak faham laaaa..
bukannye reti nak call ke, snd email ke ape ke. haih.
penat dah aku mengeluh.
KETAT NIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Hey, I have a model type of a body
REALLY??
okay!
GuguGaga Language.
Okay, back to gugugaga business. Saya dan siketat juge mempunyai gugugaga lg kami yang tersendri. bahasa dimana kami gunakan tatkala sedang bahagia dan jauh dari segala bencana pergaduhan. haha.
Maybe, kalau orang dengar, orang akan geli, loya dan lain2. but, who cares? this is us. hehe. kami dah start bergugugaga ni since baru2 kenal lagi. n we feel more comfortable using dat kinda language.
Apebila menggunakan gugugaga language, saya rasa lebih dihargai lah. haha.
berikut ini adalah beberapa diantara perkataan yang sering kami gunakan:
- jejub = sejuk
- tantok = ngantok
- dindu = rindu
- ririn = rindu
- mimin = rindu
- kakan = makan
- dido = tido
- wuwit = duit
- takwuit = takde duit
- kakot = takot
- memas bebeg = kemas beg
banyak lagi la aku pon tak dapat nak recall semua benda ni sekarang.
ape yang penting, aku mmg suke ber gugugaga. kalau boleh, aku nak guna bahasa tu all the time. :D
dan ape yang penting sekarang, aku mindu nak bergugu gaga dengan dia. *sayu* hahaha.
Okay. not lets move on to the next lesson. since im a language teacher, so, we only going to learn about language. hehe. tapi language ni, language yang cume family aku je faham. aku ulang sekali lagi, CUMA FAMILY aku yang faham. family tu dah termasuk saudara mara, pakcik makcik dan cucu cicit lar. hehe.
sume orang akan pelik bile dengar kitorang cakap bahasa2 macam ni. bagi kitorng benda ni normal, and ni semua adalah jargon dan term2 yang telah dicipta sekian lama dalam tradisi family. and we called it as "bahasa mejun"
Sekarang anak2, mari kita belajar bahasa mejun! haha. bukan jepun, tapi mejun!
- mengkot = merajok
- ngusang = memberi tekanan, bertanya tanpa henti, mendesak.
- sintalin = gemok atau chubby
- topan berlelah = busuk
- pekong = busuk
- atah = manja
- paroh = pussy *ops, kantol*
- maklah = pussy gak. haha
- Balong = penis. *haha*
- lelor = buang
- hencet = tinggalkan
- cemo = hodoh
- hengkek = sombong, belagak
- melelas = melecet
- ngepak = menunjuk nunjuk
ttu je la yang dapat aku fikirkan sekarang ni. lain2 tak ingat la. kene bercakap dgn native speaker dulu barulah terhambur semua perkataan. hehehe. okayla tu. sekurang kurang nye, hari ni jer, korang dah tambah 15 new vocabulary. bukan senang tau, lagi2 pulak ni semua jenis low frequency words. :D
korang kite beruntung. haha.
dahlah. bosan.
bilik banyak semut.
semut cari gadoh.
kaki merah2, kena gigit.
kuang haja punye semot. pehalkau!
kenapa ni, pelik la.
tapi..
alahai. rindunyer
;(
balek la cepat. perlu ke lame2 sangat offshore? tak perlu rasanya.
saya rindu ni. balekla cepat.
R
I
N
D
U
...
.....
nak bau pipi sikit...
Boleh?
;(
"kicik dale suar" Part 2
tak lama lepas tu, aku tengok kanan lagi. perasaan membuak-buak aku semakin menjadi. nak tanye ke tanak, nak tanye ke tanak. aku diam lagi.
last-last, aku tak dapat tahan, aku teros bersuara, "Kak, kalau budak terberak dalam seluar ape nak buat kak? Smalam saya kena relief satu class dajah 5, ada budak terberak dalam seluar. saya taktau nak buat apa"
Kakak tu reply. "Srivijay ke?"
Aku tak faham. Aku kate "Hahh?"
Akak tu balas lagi, "Budak lelaki India, gempal2 ke?"
"Haaaa, dia laa!" kata aku.
"Dia tu memang selalu berak dalam seluar. tak boleh nak buat ape la. kalau die berak dalam seluar, kite kene buat taktau je la. dia mmg selalu la macam tu."
aku rasa macam nak gelak guling-guling.
sampai cikgu suma dah kenal dengan dia. tau nama. tau pe'el klaku dia.
Srivijay jadi popular sbb selalu 'kicik dale suar!'
haha.
Bangang.
"kicik dale suar"
aku pon toleh kanan.
toleh kiri.
Haaa! Aku dah tau dah sumber bau ni dtg dari siapa. sebab budak2 yang lain semuanya menunding jari ke arah beliau.
Seorang budak lelaki India berbadan gempal dan bermulut becok.
Mula2, aku expect, tu adalah bau tubuh badan beliau.
tapi, lama kelamaan, bau tu semakin familiar dan meloyakan. aku pon cakap kat anis.
"Nis, budak ni berak dalam seluar ni."
Anis membalas.
"Takla Intan. Mulot dia yang bau."
"Takk.. Dia terberak dalam seluarr.." aku meyakinkan Anis.
Setelah mendapatkan komfomasi dari pelajar lain, dan dapat menghidu bau itu dengan lebih dekat, anis mula percaya dgn kata2 aku. tekak aku rasa kembang.
Budak tu tanak duduk. puas aku cakap, "duduk tempat masing2~!!" tapi dia ignore je. mungkin dia tak nak duduk sbb die takot tahi die penyeks.
die dengan muke slumber berjalan sekeliling kelas, dan menanguk dimeja guru. aku dah tak bole blah dgn bau busuk. mungkin die rasa, die wangi ataupun tahi dia berbau neutral dan orang lain tak dpt menghidu bau tahi dia sbb tu die slumber je.
dia dtg, aku ckp lagi. duduk tempat kamu, duduk tempat kamu!
beberapa minit selepas itu, aku meninggalkan kelas tu kepada anis.
anis terpaksa menanggung bau demau itu keseorangan tanpa ketiadaan aku.
What an experience.
Tsk. Tsk, Tsk.





